UPDATED 05/19/2016

I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me Review
I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me Review

PUBLISHED: 02/23/2012 by BR Moderator
Editor's Review: 3.8/5.0
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I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me is a book written by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD and Hal Staus in 1989. The book is aiming to educate friends and family of those with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in order to help them understand how the BPD afflicted persons feel like and therefore giving them an insight on what they could do in order to help. By doing so the book indirectly helps the affected ones through teaching the ones that surround them how they feel and see the world, therefore creating a more pleasant environment for them and helping them cope better.

The book is not aimed at the affected persons, but the persons that are going to read it need to fully understand it before taking any actions or changing their behaviour towards the person suffering from BPD.

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The authors start by providing a glimpse into the mind of the person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The book addresses the appearance of the symptoms of BPD, from the perspective of the both the person with BPD and professionals. It then gives the reader specific information about communication, coping, and treatment, though the medications and treatment modalities have changed since publication date. For example there are many other treatment options and medications that the authors didn’t mention at that time.

I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me introduces the communication tool SET (support, empathy, truth). A description and examples of SET in practice are provided, which can assist readers in incorporating this into their regular communication with a Borderline Personality.

I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me should be used as a starting point. The wrong impression may be given that after reading this book, medical support and professional help won’t be needed. However, split personality is a complex disorder that requires medical supervision and psychiatric care.

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  • Written as a way to help you understand BPD
  • Gives specific suggestions to promote relationships
  • Can be purchased used at a lower price


  • Some medications specified might be outdated
  • The book is not meant to treat, but only to provide information so you can understand the condition


I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me is a great starting point for those who want to better understand BPD. It was one of the first books written for the lay person. As a result, it assumes a very low existing baseline of knowledge without patronizing the reader.

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I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me ReviewBR Moderator3.752016-05-19 12:09:31
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